Written by Jacob Terranova
Obituaries help tell the story of everyone’s unique life.
Some are insightful, some are sentimental. And then there are those obituaries that have us laughing out loud. Here are a few obituaries that show that even though someone’s life on earth has passed, their sense of humor can live on.
1. Elwood “Buddy” Segeske III
Elwood “Buddy” passed away at the age of 60 in March of 2016. According to his obituary, Buddy died as a result of “a week-long battle with torso failure and the lasting effects of a 1992 alien abduction.”
Besides being abducted by aliens, Buddy’s obit tells of a life well lived:
“Buddy was raised on the mean streets of Kensington, where he claimed the men were men, and so were half the women. He spoke fondly of his childhood friends and those who didn’t end up in prison went on to become carnies, bottle cleaners, master debaters and/or Republicans… To relieve stress, Buddy preferred smoking and drinking over yoga, although he did cut a fine figure in yoga pants according to his partner Lisa and an undisclosed number of female (and male) admirers.”
2. Charles Wheeler
Charles Wheeler’s obituary takes great care to paint a full and accurate portrait of him — sparing no small details.
“Best known for his fashion sense, Charlie consistently wore white tube socks, tank tops, shorts, flannel shirts, fleece vests, a sweaty baseball cap, and raggedy, barely wearable sneakers.”
3. Angus Brian MacDonald
Angus MacDonald felt he didn’t need someone else to write his obituary. Before he passed away at 68, he wrote his own beautiful — and authentic — eulogy.
“So, the world doesn’t have Angus MacDonald to kick around anymore. I’m gone! The devil finally called my name. The grim reaper came for me on Friday March 25, 2016. I bought the farm. I bit the dust. So I guess I’m off to the promised land eh? The promised land! Imagine! … So anyway, I think I was a pretty nice guy, despite being a former punk and despite what some people would say about me.”
4. Scott E. Entsminger
Scott Entsminger was born in Ohio and was a lifelong Cleveland Browns fan. He would even write a song each year and send it along with some of his own coaching advice. Entsminger loved the Browns so much, despite their perennial poor record, that he requested, “six Cleveland Browns pall bearers so the Browns can let him down one last time.”
5. John Fairfax
John Fairfax’s life sounds like the type of stuff reserved for movies. He was a world traveling adventurer, pirate, and gambler. His life was never short on excitement. The opening lines of his obituary read, “He crossed the Atlantic because it was there, and the Pacific because it was also there. He made both crossings in a rowboat because it, too, was there, and because the lure of sea, spray and sinew, and the history-making chance to traverse two oceans without steam or sail, proved irresistible.”
6. James “Jim” Groth
James Groth is another man on our list who didn’t want his life story to be left to just anyone, so he wrote it himself. Jim showed his life was one worth celebrating — except for a few regrets.
“His regrets were few but include eating a rotisserie hot dog from a convenience store in the summer of 2002, not training his faithful dog Rita to detect cancer, and that no video evidence exists of his prowess on the soccer field or in the bedroom.”
7. Amos Schuman
Amos Schuman — although born in Tel Aviv — loved everything about New York City after moving there, including the skiing, opera, ballet, and biking in Central Park. In fact, he loved almost everything about the city. “Loved everything about NYC, except the New York Times.” And what better way to show it than by putting a paid obituary in the New York Times?
8. Val Patterson
Val Patterson used his obituary as a hilarious last confession. While it starts out normal enough, Patterson’s obituary quickly takes the reader through the twists and turns of a man that truly enjoyed life and his loved ones.
“Now that I have gone to my reward, I have confessions and things I should now say. As it turns out, I AM the guy who stole the safe from the Motor View Drive Inn back in June, 1971. I could have left that unsaid, but I wanted to get it off my chest. Also, I really am NOT a PhD. What happened was that the day I went to pay off my college student loan at the U of U, the girl working there put my receipt into the wrong stack, and two weeks later, a PhD diploma came in the mail. I didn’t even graduate, I only had about 3 years of college credit. In fact, I never did even learn what the letters “PhD” even stood for.”
And that’s just the start. Patterson also tells how he almost broke Old Faithful and how he was banned for life from Disneyland. The best part? His wife of 33 years confirms that all of it is true.
9. William Ziegler
Ziegler’s family said they crafted their dad’s obituary to honor and reflect the sense of humor that William Ziegler had. And it looks like his kids inherited his sense of humor.
“William Ziegler escaped this mortal realm on Friday, July 29, 2016 at the age of 69. We think he did it on purpose to avoid having to make a decision in the pending presidential election… Upon his return to the City of New Orleans in 1971, thinking it best to keep an eye on him, government officials hired William as a fireman. After twenty-five years, he suddenly realized that running away from burning buildings made more sense than running toward them.”
10. Douglas Legler
Sometimes when you can’t find the right words to say, it’s best to follow Douglas Legler’s example and keep it simple. His obituary taken out in the North Dakota newspaper simply said, “Doug Died.”
According to his daughter, Janet Stoll, it’s just the way he wanted it — short and simple. Stoll told the Forum that “(Other people’s obituaries) would say ‘he was the president of this, a director of this’ and Dad would say, ‘What, couldn’t they hold down a job?'”
What are some of the humorous obituaries you’ve come across? Share with us in the comments below.
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